MichelleJoyPhelps

So often do men walk by the simplest of things that can regain the trust, appreciation and love from his woman.  I am here to explain to you just a few of the things that a man can do to get back in the good graces of her, if he is looking to. Or a few common not to do examples that can make her unhappy. 

1.)    1.) Appreciate her genuiness and femininity. So often do men yell, ‘Your too sensitive’ or ‘too needy’ or something along the lines of this. Let me explain to you just what this does. One day when you are looking for reassurance from her and the affection you’d grown so immune to, it will be gone. A woman has her limits just like any man. Once a line has been crossed, her patience, her sensitivity and her appreciation will be hardened and most likely be gone forever. Have the understanding that women are built differently. If we all just woke up one day and decided to take on the role of ‘the man’ we will no longer need you or value the things you may be doing. Allow me to use an example for the few male readers who probably have not caught on to what I am saying.

I have a friend who loves her husband so much. She goes on and on about how hands on he is and how much she loves that. She previously had an ex lover who complained that she never use to do anything on her own and relied on him for any and everything. She said that over the course of their 2 year relationship, she had grown cold and distant from him and never asked him to do anything for her anymore. Then one day he sat her down and told her how he felt she didn’t need him anymore and how he felt she left the relationship emotionally. Funny, right?  Anyways, she said that she was shocked as to how he could not see just how he brought this upon himself. She told him she felt like she was walking on egg shells in his presence and knew the only way to avoid a sarcastic remark from him or yet another  argument, she’d have to stop needing him for anything anymore. She explained that she got a back bone and forced herself to be solely independent just as he wanted her to be. She eventually left him because now instead of the arguments being about her neediness it was about her independence.

My point is just this: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR BOYS! Your lady very well could be this woman and just wake up one morning and say ‘I’ve had enough!’ and that will be that. Be emotionally supportive if she feels sensitive one day or is having a hard time with something. All we want is reassurance. Just like a father is with his daughter, be supportive and optimistic. She just wants you to be her hero and tell her that everything will be fine and that you are there to help.

2.)   2.) Be a man of your word! Oh lord this subject is oh-so-sensitive with me. If there is one way to get a woman to hate you or just lose respect for you, just tell her you’ll do something and not follow thru. I believe that ANY PERSON is only as good as his/or her word. No self respecting person is going to find you reliable or a good friend if you always say one thing but do another. And your reputation is everything. Do you want to be known as that guy? Men, look, follow thru with what you say. If that means you told her you are going to call her or take her out, DO IT! And if you can’t, acknowledge that you can’t so she doesn’t feel blown off or disrespected. I have found that men 18-34 years of age are more likely to come off as flakey as men who are above 34. Why this is, I don’t know. Maybe the older men learned their lesson in life with being that guy. All I know is this topic is brought up all the damn time by my girlfriends. Is it really so hard to pick up the phone and say that plans changed? Seriously? Just remember, if you are okay with having, I’m not reliable and can’t get it together stamped on your forehead, than that’s fine with me. Plus, odds are if you are the flakey, immature kid that doesn’t have the balls to say something; you probably will never have a successful relationship with a woman who has any respect for herself. Get it together! A Lady appreciates a man who follows thru. If anything, it’s the one thing that catches my attention. I used to have the attitude, ‘ah, if he calls he calls and if he doesn’t, no biggie.’ I was no naïve at one point. Ah, how times have changed! Now, I hold him to it and if he fails? That’s it! Simple as that really. Getting older I have learned a thing or two about dating and quite frankly I have learned that there are clear sacrifices and compromises I have to make in a relationship BUT a man who doesn’t follow thru with his word? Nope, not one I am willing to make. ESPECIALLY if he is doing it so early on in the dating process. Shit doesn’t get any better. I’ve learned that the hard way. Bottom line is, if a man really wants something, nothing will stop him from trying to get it. So if he isn’t even trying to gain your respect, forget him! Let another woman who holds no high regard for herself catch this catch! Ha.

3.)   3.) Notice the small things. She loves to hear how nice she looks, how wonderful her hair smells or by noticing her new shoes. Now, don’t do overkill but pay attention. Any lady loves a compliment. Now a compliment is NOT how sexy she looks or how amazing her a** looks in those jeans. Be respectful and polite. So many men lack this quality today that she will take notice of this almost immediately. I promise!!  No woman who spends a LONG time getting ready to try to impress YOU wants to feel like she didn’t impress you! Acknowledge her effort and see how quickly she is into you. And yes, even the tomboy’s like this.

4.)    4.)Be passionate. Exude passion. Anytime a person is in a long term relationship, it can be easy to get comfortable and fall into a routine. And by a routine, this can also be simple pecks on the lips instead of those hot and heavy make-out sessions you once had in the beginning. Passion can revive any collapsed relationship. Why this is? Because no one ever thinks to spice up the romance before throwing in the towel of effort. Passion can be a kiss, a touch, a comment or a gesture. Only YOU know her. So stop and ask yourself what your relationship is lacking. Is it sex? Is it romance? Is it that maybe her confidence level has dropped since packing on a few pounds and maybe she just wants you to lightly smack her ass and say, ‘baby, I’m so lucky. You’re so sexy mama.’ Yes any woman wants to hear that her man is still attracted to her. So sit and ponder for a bit and make the passion come alive.

5.)    5.)Be spontaneous in bed. Just like the topic before this one, women want to have a good sex life just like you do. So often do people go outside of their relationship’s to seek hot, new sex from a random partner. Generally this is because the sex has gotten to be so old that it doesn’t feel exciting anymore. And excitement is key to successful love making.  But there are a few things I’d like to discuss before you go ranting on and on about the she doesn’t want to have sex anymore spiel. Look, there are many reason’s women choose not to make love anymore. Maybe she just had a child and she feels extremely insecure with her body. Maybe because she’s gained weight, her breasts don’t look or feel the same, whatever. Try to find a way to boost her confidence so the sex seems much more appealing. And don’t fight her on the fact that maybe she doesn’t want the lights on or she doesn’t want to remove her top. Slowly rebuilt her trust and confidence. It takes time and if you love her, you’ll do just that. If you tell her how beautiful she is and maybe give her some good ol’ dirty talk action in bed, she may begin to feel differently about having more frequent sex. Other reasons women stop having sex is because you can be selfish bastards! Wam-bam thank you ma’am. Uh, can you blame us?  Being spontaneous is switching it up guys, trying new things and refraining from any sort of routine. If she pleases you, damn it please her. Sometimes pleasing her means spending more time kissing her, her neck, panting in her ear, dirty talk her for a minute or so before engaging in sex, being more flirty and playful… catch my drift? Try your best from making it the usual 3 to 5 minutes, YES, I said it! Three to five minutos! So sad. I mean, how effing embarrassing! Do you want to be known as the guy who can’t keep it up? After all, you would think you would be trying to live up to your self given ‘I’M THE MAN’ title. Make her happy. Remember, as any older man who’s been around the block and back or married successfully for years would say, “A happy wife makes a happy home!” It’s true. Either learn now or learn later, regardless the outcome is the same gentlemen.

6.)     6.)Buy her a nice gift every now and again. It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day or her birthday to buy her something sweet. The thought is what counts. My parents have been successfully married for 27 years and still act like teenagers in love. It’s sick at times because I see them fool around on the couch in the living room BUT bottom line is, they’re still in love after all the ups and downs, trials and tribulations! And why this is? My dad never goes one day without showing my mom how much he adores her. He either cooks for her, buys her favorite chocolates, play’s with her toes (don’t ask!), or leave’s her little love notes before he leaves the house. It is the thought that really matters. I don’t care what some people may say, it’s not the amount you spend dollar wise but the amount of the thought you put into your gift. She will love you so much for this! And once she feels loved, watch and see how much she goes out of her way for you. It’s a ripple effect. And yes guys, even if she has said she doesn’t care for flowers. It still means she’d like them every now and again. Ha. Don’t ask okay? I guess this is something you’ll never understand and we’ll never be able to explain.

7.)    7.)Be vocal about your feelings and thoughts. Honesty is everything and so is communication. The more talks between you two, the more intimacy is built. Love making isn’t always about the physical as is being in love. Communication and the closeness it brings have everything to do with your successful relationship or lack thereof. Many, many, many women complain that their partners NEVER ASK about their day or never sit and look into her eyes as she discusses something that is passionate to her. Open your heart to her and talk about something that excites you or even bothers you.  This open communication will make her feel involved in a part of your life she may not always get to see. Making her feel included will make her feel special and important. She will also respect you more and have a better understanding of your life and why you may not always be in the best mood or whatever it may be. COMMUNICATE!

So far we’ve discussed some KEY points of the to-do and not-to-do of making your woman happy. Yes there are many other topics we could discuss but for now, I think I have gotten my point across. I hope this helps somewhat. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. This is what I do. 

 Much love, Michelle

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