Oct 06 2008
Just a girl still learning what love is…
I love love. I am a girl still learning what love is. I’ve loved before… a few times actually. All of which ended with a bad heart break and dissapointment. Is it how life is? All good things must come to a end at some point? Whatever it is, I lead myself to guard my emotions for a few years. Well, what I so called protect myself. In the end, being alone and feeling lonely is the biggest fault of all, especially when it doesnt have to be that way. No person has to say no to something good. But I understand why so many people decide to be alone than risk another failed relationship. Because we all know that when we love someone so much and it ends; life as we knew it is over. It can be distracting, draining, annoying to start all over and pick up the pieces again. You went from living a normal existence to a person who lives in this dark hole (your room!) replaying your last moments over and over in your head asking yourself, ‘What happened?’, right? You can’t sleep, you refuse to eat and feel completely incompetent with dating again. I guess these are just a few reasons some people insist on remaining single.
But then, there are the many plus sides to being with someone. Maybe he just makes you smile for no apparent reason. His humor is electric, his beauty is far more than skin deep… maybe just by his one text he places a permanent smile to your face. His emails bring you back to something out of a novel, his touch gives your body this vibration no one has given you before, or maybe it’s the look he gives you before he kisses you and tells you how much he’s missed you. Love is a feeling that has no definition. Because what can be love for me may not be love for you. We all differ on what meets our needs to feel loved… but in the end we all feel it. We feel happy, we feel complete, we feel validated and claimed. Like I’ve said before, I’m just a girl learning what love is, daily. All I can say is I rather wake up next to the man who reassures my existence, makes me know my worth and makes me want to be a better person. Daily, I find another reason to love and not to run. Running only left me more confused than dealing with the bumps in the road that naturally occur.
A day without my love denies another person from having love. I can’t do that and don’t want that done to me. I will love every day and live in the moment rather than live in my past. Looking back has only prevented me from living in my future…
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!
Michelle Joy*
