Feb 16 2009
Trust
I know how it feels to live your life with a guard up. I’m learning that it doesn’t protect me from anything. Instead I’m realizing that it has prolonged my healing process. We’ve all been hurt, betrayed, harmed, whatever it may be but I can’t be the victim any longer. More importantly I don’t want to push out any good intentioned people because I’m too afraid to be hurt. Next time I fall I’m gonna let myself fall. I will then put my two hands on the ground in front of me and push myself back up, dust off my knees and get back up on my feet to risk falling again. Falling is an empowering thing, you know? Why so? Because you learn and there is no price on wisdom. I rather love and lost than to have never loved at all. Trust is rebuilding in my heart and I feel accomplished for this. The lord knows how difficult my struggle with men has been. I also know that not every man coming into my life has ill will and I promise to try my best to look at the positive than the potential negative.
I want to be a symbol of strength and the only way I can possess this is by taking risk and taking that leap of faith.
Trust comes in many different forms and I also believe that people should work hard for the trust of others. I know that I always prove myself to the people around me not just by what I say but what I do to back my word up. A person is only as good as their word so if you cannot do something as small as that then maybe you aren’t worth the chance. Regardless I want to exude love, loyalty and trust. Slowly but surely I’m learning wisdom from my experiences and the experiences of others in my life.
Michelle Joy Phelps
